i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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