dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
