It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
