Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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