Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
