I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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