The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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