i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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