And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
