Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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