Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
