There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
