My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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