so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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