whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
