I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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