So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
