He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
