Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he puts the penis in happiness.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
