There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
