ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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