I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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