dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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