I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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