Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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