We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
