I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
