u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
4 words: hood of his car
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I party with great urgency now.
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