I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
