NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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