Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
