So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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