Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
