i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
