I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so let's talk penis.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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