I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
