I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
