so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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