I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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