Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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