Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
