I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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