If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
