quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
