We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
