Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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