you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Randomize
