this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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