my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
