I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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