We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
