Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
