dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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