Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
