Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
